February 26th, 2010
smite
Barrack Obama was touring the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo. Suddenly, a male donkey jumps out onto the road, they hit it full on and the car comes to a stop.
Obama says to the chauffeur: ‘You get out and check, you were driving.’
The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead.
‘You were driving; go and tell the farmer,’ says Obama.
Hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face.
‘My god man, what happened to you?’ asks Obama.
The chauffeur replies: ‘When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love to me.’
‘What on earth did you say to them?’ asks Obama.
‘I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them, I’m Barrack Obama’s chauffeur and I’ve just killed the jackass.’
February 19th, 2010
smite
Romney at CPAC: “In case you didn’t hear the late-breaking news, the gold medal in the downhill was taken away from American Lindsey Vonn. It was determined that President Obama is going downhill faster than she is.”
February 10th, 2010
smite
got this one from a friend… what ever side you fall on, c’mon laugh.. it’s just a joke…
“I don’t know about you, but I don’t remember these snow problems when Bush was in office…”
December 21st, 2009
smite
As I’ll be out of town and likely won’t be blogging on Christmas, here’s an early start to Friday Funnies…
A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune. “One Marine is better than ten Taliban”. The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune where upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.
The voice then calls out “One Marine is better than a hundred Taliban soldiers”. Furious, the Taliban
commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Marine voice calls out, “One Marine is better than one thousand Taliban”. The enraged Taliban commander musters a thousand fighters and sends them over the dune. Cannon, rocket, and machine gun fire rings out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.
Finally one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, “Don’t send any more men, it’s a trap. There’s two of them”.
An Israeli doctor says ‘Medicine in my country is so advanced that
we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have
him looking for work in six weeks.’
A German doctor says ‘That is nothing; we can take a lung out of
one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.’
A Russian doctor says ‘In my country, medicine is so advanced
that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another,
and have them both looking for work in two weeks.’
An ILLINOIS doctor, not to be outdone, says ‘You guys are way
behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of ILLINOIS ,
put him in the White House for SIX MONTHS, and now half
the WORLD is looking for work.