Smite A. Hippie

Just wait till November…

Just a shame I can’t vote in AZ. :-/

Code Monkey can, though!

New Jersey Supreme Court: Police must explain breathalyzer test in driver’s native language.

Seriously??  Ignorance of the law (or language) is NOT the problem of the officer.  Are they supposed to know every damned language in the world, or have a translator on hand?

Fox News video here.

I know what I want for Christmas!

From Topless Robot, The RPC (Rocket Propelled Chainsaw):

The rocket chainsaw launcher. Tell me it wouldn’t be worth getting eaten alive by the living dead if you got to fire this thing into a crowd of them first. Hell, I’d be too busy cackling with delight to reload even if I had any extra ammo. Thanks to everyone who sent in the tip.

How cool is that!!?!

I was born in one country, raised in another. My father was born in another country. I was not his only child. He fathered several children with numerous women.

I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me. My mother died at an early age from cancer.

Later in life, questions arose over my real name.

My birth records were sketchy and no one was able to produce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate.

I grew up practicing one faith but converted to Christianity, as it was widely accepted in my country, but I practiced non-traditional beliefs & didn’t follow Christianity, except in the public eye under scrutiny.

I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them..

That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and I embarked on a new career.

I wrote a book about my struggles growing up. It was clear to those who read my memoirs that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child.

I became active in local politics in my 30′s then with help behind the scenes, I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate for national office in my 40s.. They said I had a golden tongue and could talk anyone into anything.. That reinforced my conceit.

I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no experience in leading a single organization. Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me as though I were a magnet and they were small roofing tacks.

I drew incredibly large crowds during my public appearances. This bolstered my ego.

At first, my political campaign focused on my country’s foreign policy. I was very critical of my country in the last war and seized every opportunity to bash my country.

But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country’s economy. I pretended to have a really good plan on how we could do better and every poor person would be fed & housed for free.

I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess. It was the free market, banks & corporations. I decided to start making citizens hate them and if they were envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight.

I called mine “A People’s Campaign” and that sounded good to all people.

I was the surprise candidate because I emerged from outside the traditional path of politics & was able to gain widespread popular support.

I knew that, if I merely offered the people ‘hope’, together we could change our country and the world.

So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant to include “persecuted minorities” like the Jews. My true views were not widely known and I needed to keep them unknown, until after I became my nation’s leader.

I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings and examined those people I associated with.

I’m glad they didn’t. Then I became the most powerful man in the world. And the world learned the truth..

Who am I?

I am ADOLF HITLER

WHO WERE YOU THINKING OF?

Scary, isn’t it?

Bias much?

No surprise though, this is the same network that brought us fabricated stories on George Bush’s military records, and news stores like “George W. Bush to Blame for Divorce Al and Tipper Gore”.

No harm, no foul though… I mean it’s not like they’re a credible news organization and people actually tune in to them, so who would have even seen it? Though they do probably get more ratings than MSNBC… that bar is set pretty low, there.

Schools in Detroit are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can use in real-world situations!

NAME____________________

GANG/CREW NAME______________

CRIB_________________

1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shootin. How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive- by before he gotta reload?

2. Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?

3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho’s. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne’s $800 per day Crack habit?

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20% upside?

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4×4′s, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother’s bail?

6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per mo nth, how much money will be left when he gets out?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week’s income?

10. Marvin steals Juan’s skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph, Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?

To the left we have a real classy gal, Laura Bush.  To the right we have… what looks like a 2 dollar tranny hooker from NYC  Michelle Obama.

Yep. Good job, Michelle, way to ‘represent’. *fist-bump*

Damn I wish I had a time machine…

Just a little treat to all you movie buffs out there… Guess what today is? Today’s the day Marty McFly arrived in the future after hitting 88 mph in Doc Brown’s Delorean from 1985:

I can’t believe it’s been 25 years now since that movie came out…makes ya feel old and all, when you remember seeing it in the theater.

Of course, as with many other movies (2001: A Space Odyssey being another), present day isn’t exactly the future envisioned in the movie – which isn’t necessarily a bad thing either, as I recall from that sequel.

Today this country, these United States, celebrates her 234th birthday; a birth of freedom, and favored and blessed by Providence.

Thanks to those 56 brave men that pledged their lives under great risk to themselves and their families, the individual militias and the Continental Army, our country was born.

Thanks to our past and present day Armed Forces, and the individual everyday citizens that keep this country moving – the Unites States of America stays strong today.

God bless this country, may she continue to live on forever, as the beacon of freedom and liberty across the world.