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The Tax System Explained in Beer

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100…
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this…

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7..
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do..

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball. “Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20″. Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? The paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.
And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

“I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,”but he got $10!”
“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!”
“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “we didn’t get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!”
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works. The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

2012 Democrat National Convention Schedule

4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN

4:05 PM – Singing of “God Damn America ” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright

4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama.

4:15 PM – Ceremonial ‘I hate America ‘ led by Michelle Obama.

4:30 PM – Tips on “How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world” – Hillary Clinton

4:45 PM – Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job.”

5:00 PM –  “Great Vacations I’ve Taken on the Taxpayer’s Dime Travel Log” – Michelle Obama.

5:30 PM –  Eliot Spitzer Speaks on “Family Values” via Satellite

5:45 PM –  Tribute to All 57 States – Nancy Pelosi

6:00 PM –  Sen. Harry Reid – 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat’s appreciation of the Occupy Wall Street movement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.

8:30 PM –  Airing of Grievances by the Clintons

9:00 PM –  “Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times

9:15 PM –  Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore

9:45 PM –   Personal Finance Seminar – Charlie Rangle

10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers.

10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan

11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies

11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagovich rally

11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards

11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish Obama Presiding

12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews

12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior

12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing

3:00 AM   – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech

Dial-A-Crack

August 12th, 2012 Smite No comments

…or crack dialed, butt crack that is.  Meet Justin Kryzanowski, of Scranton, PA.  This winner pocket dialed 911 while buying drugs.

Got a drug fix? There’s an app for that! 911 operators are standing by…

Smart phones: Being used by stupid people, and making Wyatt’s job easier, since 2001.