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Friday Funnies: Irany

December 3rd, 2010 No comments

“Irany”. heh.

From Gizmodo:

Iranians Furious After Finding Jewish Symbol Hidden In Plain View

Ahmadinejad and his antisemitic cronies are fuming with anger after discovering theStar of David on the roof of Iran Air headquarters at Tehran’s airport. The building was originally built by Israeli engineers prior to the the Islamic Revolution.

Nobody noticed the Jewish symbol until someone found it up in Google Maps. The building—which hosts their national airline at the Mehrabad International Airport—was built by Israeli engineers before the 1979 Islamic Revolution, and it has been hidden in plain sight until today.

It won’t stay there for much longer. According to The Jerusalem Post, Iranian government officials have already ordered the destruction of the star. [Google Mapsvia Jerusalem Post]

Send an email to Jesus Diaz, the author of this post, at jesus@gizmodo.com.

Categories: Funny Tags: , , ,

Mother of all Jihadist Jokes

December 1st, 2010 No comments

In the spirit of the start of Hanukkah and Christmas coming upon us, I present you with a holiday funny…

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk.
The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.
”This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.”
”Yes, I remember him as a baby” says the other mother cheerfully.
“He’s a martyr now though” the mother confides.
“Oh, so sad dear” says the other.
”And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.”
”Oh, I remember him,” says the other happily,
”he had such curly hair when he was born.”
”He’s a martyr too” says the mother quietly.
”Oh, gracious me . . . ” says the other.
”And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed.
He would have been 18”, she whispers.
“Yes” says the friend enthusiastically,
”I remember when he first started school”
”He’s a martyr also,” says the mother, with tears in her eyes.
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching for the right words, says….

Wait for it…

“They blow up so fast, don’t they?”

heh.

Yeah, I did it. I went there.  I made a clearly bigoted joke… aimed at a false religion (manufactured by a pedophile in 5th century). heh.

So by all means, send your hate mail, or designated jihadi to visit me… my dog, vast bacon supply, and small army’s arsenal await.. ready to welcome you with open “arms”. heh.

Categories: Jokes Tags: , , , ,

Friday Funnies: Random Cartoon

November 19th, 2010 No comments

No rhyme or reason, just came across it the other day and thought it was funny… enjoy!

"It's Alice Kramden!"

Categories: Funny Tags:

I heart Ann Coulter

November 17th, 2010 2 comments

Friday Funnies: Vote!

October 29th, 2010 2 comments

Categories: Funny, Politics Tags:

Meanwhile, back at the State Department…

October 25th, 2010 1 comment

The Wicked Witch of the West Wing

Friday Funnies: Who’s the moron??

October 15th, 2010 1 comment

Categories: Funny, Politics Tags: ,

Friday Funnies: Barack’s Bullshit Bingo

October 8th, 2010 1 comment

Try it the next time you hear the President speak . . . it will keep you awake!
Please follow the rules before watching. I used to avoid listening to his speeches. Now, I look forward to the next one.

Here is something to help make Obama’s speeches almost tolerable. Just print out this page, distribute it to friends, and listen. (be sure to read directions at the bottom)

Barack's Bullshit Bingo

Rules for Bullshit Bingo:
1. Before Barrack Obama’s next televised speech, print your “Bullshit Bingo”
2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout “BULLSHIT!”

h/t – Todd

Categories: Funny, Politics Tags: , ,

The Tax System Explained in Beer

September 17th, 2010 1 comment

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100…
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this…

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7..
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do..

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball. “Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20″. Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? The paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.
And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

“I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,”but he got $10!”
“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!”
“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “we didn’t get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!”
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works. The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

-Unknown Author

Categories: Beer, Funny, Politics Tags: ,

Only in Philadelphia: Upgraded bus stop seating

August 1st, 2010 1 comment

Located at 12th and Lombard, center city Philadelphia.
h/t – Jerry W.

Categories: Funny Tags: , ,